Finally. I was able to do some meaningful journal work for my Medicine Doll class with Barb Kobe. I had seemed to be really blocked about getting down to this. I went home from work so angry and aggravated yesterday. A friend was coming for dinner and I knew I just wasn't in a place of mind where I could socialize. I stole away to the bedroom for half an hour just to be quiet. The journal was right there, on the edge of the bed. I seized it. I wrote. I ranted. I cried. Anger. I hadn't been this angry in a long time and all of a sudden I realized how I, probably like so many others, have been programmed not to express anger. I began writing the story of how I came to this place of wanting to create healing dolls. My locked away artist. My descent into depression. A spiritual call. Brilliant red of anger. Calming green of healing.Complimentary colors staring at each other from opposite sides of the emotional color wheel.
My intention in taking this class is this: "To accept the anger that I know is a part of my god-fiber, move through it and allow creative and spiritual healing to take place." I know I will never be without anger. But I can look at it square in the face, know it is part of how I am wired, use it for good when possible, and still use my God-given creative ability to heal myself . Salve for the wounds, not removal of them. Heavy Sigh!.
I took some photos of the journal work. I will post them soon.The first two dolls for the class have become awake in my mind and are no longer far away.
This photo is a close up of "My Depression". She reminds me of the pain and anger I felt during the worst part of my own depression.